tealtastic

when the client suggests a line that actually isn’t too bad

thisadvertisinglife:

Coming to terms

I haven’t written anything in a very long time. 

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/kotoriwam/)

I had planned to. To sit, to write, to breathe. To undo and redo so many moments in the only way I know how, via words, to release them from the echos they’re trapped in. 

I’ve written so many things in my mind. So many car rides spent out loud with no pen or paper or safe way of unloading the chaos of the streets that twist inside. Every traffic light I meant to shut it up, to save it for later, but a 45 minutes car ride isn’t relenting or kind, it’s nothing but revealing. It doesn’t give second chances, nor moments of relief. You can choose to ignore it, but at some point you need to face it. You need to come to terms. 

I had planned. That’s all this latest feeling comes too. So many things planned. Debated. Executed and released. Ignored. Looked over. Decided otherwise. Adjectives unrelenting.  

I was driving on an ordinary day. The sun was in its ordinary expressed position with the normal amount of expected traffic moving in a normally exasperating way. But there was one thing….one thing that was different on that day. There were clouds. 

BIG clouds. Stormy overbearing clouds. They rose out of the west like concurring heros ready to take back their land. In every glance upward they seemed to grow, to take over a bit more sky in a victory worthy of textbooks. I know, I know, many of you are thinking, they’re just clouds girl, give it a rest. And you’re probably right for 99.5% of the country, but this is LA. And clouds here are about as rare as affordable housing.

It was a simple thing. Watching the sky grow upwards…but it changed everything. I suddenly found myself looking around. Admiring. Falling in love with…. A PLACE. A place I have had many arguments with. Disputes. Disagreements. Whatever you want to call not being about to find a parking space for 25 damn minutes. I found myself… dare I say it? MARVELING. An ocean that rises into palms. Palms that rise into mountains. Mountains that rise into snow. All visible from my morning commute. 

It’s been nearly a year since I’ve moved here. I hesitate to admit but it’s been a year spent mostly alone. Consumed inside my own head even in the company of others, it’s been a rocky, hard and horrible road. I’ve been so lost, so lost i’ve hardly looked around, hardly looked up, hardly looked out. 

Now… I can feel a change. The weather from spring to summer or otherwise. A year in remission. So this one is for my new city. A true lady in many respects, a tough, beautiful, hard woman. Worn not by weather, but by the many trials and moments she’s had to face. Gorgeous in so many ways, and flawed in so many more, I have finally awoke to realize I’m not alone. I don’t love her. And I know she doesn’t have love for me. But her streets I drive are always with me and in me. And in so many ways, we are the same. 

And I, for the first time in a long, hard year, feel comforted by that. 

( http://www.flickr.com/photos/29634984@N03/)

mycroft:

there is no hell painful enough for people who spoil game of thrones.